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May 27, 2012

by Susan Koslovsky

May 29, 2012

DON’T STRESS OVER WHAT IS NOT IN YOUR CONTROL

by Susan Koslovsky

One thing is for sure: stress is a part of our lives and I do mean each and every one of us. There is no getting around it no matter what you try to do to avoid it. It creeps into our work and our personal lives through the cracks and crevices of our minds and emotions. Now one man’s stress is not another’s, and each of us is equipped with different capacities and levels for this non avoidant pressure. Everyone deals with stress in a different way, and tackles the situations that arise from stress with a variety of tools and abilities. Hide if you can but there is nowhere to hide. Many have tried but unless you are ready to fall off the face of the earth or hide under a rock, you will always find yourself coming face to face with some sort of anxiety or tension. Where the bold and the fainthearted part company is recognizing what stresses you must deal with and those that are really out of your control. There is no point in trying to deal with a situation and completely stress yourself over things that you are not able or cannot control. That kind of hassle and worrying will only accelerate the stress factor to a greater degree. When you take into consideration the circumstances and conditions that are directly in your power and command that you find to be most stressful, then you can be proactive and lay out a plan of action. You can organize your feelings and thoughts and assess the situation with some measure of strength. But, (and I do mean a very big but) when you did not create the situation, have no part in its action, and should not be concerned with its results, then you really have to try as hard as you can to relieve yourself of that burdening stress. It wasn’t your choice, you cannot do anything about it, and continuing to dwell on it over and over again, will aggravate you even more because you have no part in changing it. A big part of dealing with stress is knowing when to let go, like the song says, “know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em.” As for me, stress and worry are my middle names, but with so much going on in my life, as I know the same goes for you, there is a calm comfort in separating out the stresses I need to deal with and those I can leave for others. Relax.

May 20, 2012

by Susan Koslovsky

May 20, 2012

IT DOES NOT APPLY TO “ME.”

by Susan Koslovsky

Rules, laws, guidelines and regulations are created to establish an orderly system for all the venues in our lives. Government, conduct, living facilities, schools, and so many more too numerous to list. They are the backbone and skeleton as to how we create and keep order and live our lives. This has nothing to do with personal choices. This is strictly about following the “rules.” Now unfortunately this is NOT a perfect world and everyone is NOT following those “rules” to a tea. Of course the average person understands right from wrong and would not commit a murder or place another in harm. Again, we do not need to go to such extremes to grasp my gist. This is about the lack of respect and total disregard for systems put in place to take care of and safeguard the do’s and don’ts. Let’s just put a few of them out there: The neighbor who walks their dog on your lawn. The driver who rolls through the stop sign or better yet parks where they know they shouldn’t. The airplane passenger who is told to turn off their cell phone before take-off but doesn’t. Employees who should not be using job related material for their own personal use. Here’s a good one: grocery shoppers tasting the grapes and even better yet from the bags that are already pre-weighed. Taking two when it says “one per customer.” These are only a very small sampling of the “shouldn’ts” that people are guilty of each and every day. Why? Why do people feel it is okay to bend and break the rules? Is it a sense of entitlement or trying to prove that these rules should not be in place? I used to like to believe and professed that those who didn’t abide were just plain ignorant; they didn’t know or didn’t understand. If that were only true, then a simple pointing out or hint of incorrect behavior would be much more politely accepted. In fact, most of the non-followers look at you funny, continue the behavior, or in some cases become quite nasty. It has turned into a case of simply believing that it doesn’t apply to them. Really, they believe it. A total lack of respect and disregard for following rules has mushroomed and grown into a complete epidemic. It has passed to the next generation and to make matters even worse, parents often make excuses for their kids’ behavior as well. Who’s to blame? Now that is what people do best – put the blame on anyone but themselves. It’s always someone else’s fault and there is always a “good” reason why. If each and everyone would just follow the guidelines they know are in place and ask about the ones they don’t know about, life would sail along a lot smoother. Time to make it less about “me” and more about “we.”

May 13, 2012

by Susan Koslovsky

May 13, 2012

CELEBRATING MOTHER’S DAY IN YOUR OWN WAY

by Susan Koslovsky

Holidays and individual celebratory days throughout the year can be hard as they focus on family and your home life style. Not everyone’s family unit is complete with all the players and it is more evident than ever during these periodic times. But, nevertheless, these days can be used in a unique way to acknowledge the special people in your life who are here and those who have gone. Mother’s Day has always been a tough one for so many people I know, including myself. If you have lost your Mom, what I call “belonging to a club you did not ask to join,” then you feel so much pressure on you remembering what you did when she was here, and what you would be doing if you were lucky enough to still have her here with you. Hopefully you can celebrate you being a Mom, and maybe a Grandma as well. It is time you should relish in and enjoy to the fullest. But remember Mother’s Day is a year round holiday and the celebration should be round the clock. No day should go by that you don’t acknowledge the “moms in your life” regardless of the pieces to your puzzle. Rather than focusing on who you don’t have in your life at the current time, look outside yourself and watch your grandchildren look adoringly at their Moms. See how excited each one of them gets to unwrap the art projects they finished in school and how filled with love your daughters are to receive those priceless objects. Think back and remember how you hung on to every word, every letter, every picture, and all the handmade gifts as if they were museum pieces. That kind of love can never be duplicated and can be carried through time and from generation to generation. Mother’s Day is a celebration for friends, sisters, aunts, nieces and all the women who have touched your lives in a loving and caring way. Be happy if you have your Mom, are a Mom, a Grandma and maybe even a Great Grandma. Know in your heart the effect they have had on you and the impression you have on your children and grandchildren. Do something today that makes you smile and surround yourself with love, and wonderful wishes.

May 6, 2012

by Susan Koslovsky

May 6, 2012

CONFIRMATION NUMBERS ARE STILL NOT ENOUGH

by Susan Koslovsky

In an age of computers, cell phones, and all sorts of mobile devices, we have all become accustomed to making reservations, appointments, and paying bills online and by phone. You either speak to someone and make the arrangements or let your fingers do your talking for you. At the end of the reservation or transaction there is usually a confirmation or reservation number. Sometimes you remember to take the time to jot it down or print out the confirmation email. All seems simple, easy and complete. You assume you have taken care of one if not several items on you long laundry list of things you may have to take care of and relief takes over. Done. Ordered and Confirmed. Many times that confirmation number really turns into an actual appointment, an accurate order, or a specific payment. How nice when it all comes together perfectly. But, and I say that with a long pause, for one reason or another, someone somewhere, for some reason, and unbeknownst to you, drops the ball and you are living in fantasy land. You assume the payment or the reservation has been made or the appointment will actually take place. In order to protect yourself from aggravation, save extra time, and assure the job is complete, you really should RECONFIRM. If you are ultimately responsible because you didn’t complete the request to “submit” online even after you have gone through all the steps, then you can kick yourself, be totally annoyed, but understand that you have to take the blame. It’s when you spend exorbitant amounts of time on the phone, on hold, and watch the clock pass as the order is put into place, and then only to find out that even with a confirmation or order number that NOTHING was taken care of, that you want to scream at the top of your lungs. You feel helpless, at the mercy of whomever you spoke with, and frustrated that you have to do this all over again. The system is partially broken because people don’t seem to take responsibility for their actions. They “hide” behind the phone call, and the online “chat.” The next representative who attempts to assist you of course apologizes for the circumstances that led you to a repeat scenario. You hold your breath, go through the motions once again, and pray this new confirmation or order number will become a reality. Do yourself a favor: Confirm and RECONFIRM.